What can I say? I’ve got the best hair stylist. // ⚡💋⚡
Lazy Sunday afternoon motorbike ride with Spenz. Beautiful.
I forget that I matter to people and I hurt them by doing this. But do they not know that I worry so much? I can’t even function at times because I paralyze myself with poisonous assumptions in my head. I can’t lose anybody and I’m willing to actually try now.
Ambivalence is loving the beach and hating the sun. I can’t stay in the shade forever.
I have been longing for solitude and my birthday was when I wanted it. My anxiety had won me over and it got what it wanted; escape. But I knew that it was something I needed anyway so I had submitted myself. It’s long overdue. I biked around downtown and watched a film at midnight. Just smelling the fresh air on the ride back home made me want to cry. I put my magnifying glass over little things that had happened that ride and thought to myself of how blessed I am.
The name of Lauryn Hill’s breakout album was The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill but it now appears that the powers that be would like her to record a new album called The Re-Education of Lauryn Hill. After appearing in court for tax evasion, Hill was sentenced to three months in jail PLUS she must attend “counseling” due to her “conspiracy theories”.
According to the IBTimes, Hill told the court: “I am a child of former slaves who had a system imposed on them. I had an economic system imposed on me.” Furthermore, Hill also believes that artists are being oppressed by (what the article calls) “a plot involving the military and media”. Because of these statements, Hill was ordered to undergo “counseling”, which is a way of saying that she is mentally ill and that she needs some sort of re-programming session regain “sanity”.
In 2012, Hill published a thoughtful letter describing the corruption, the oppression and the control of the music industry and her desire to escape it. In one part of the letter, Lauryn states
“It was this schism and the hypocrisy, violence and social cannibalism it enabled, that I wanted and needed to be freed from, not from art or music, but the suppression/repression and reduction of that art and music to a bottom line alone, without regard for anything else. Over-commercialization and its resulting restrictions and limitations can be very damaging and distorting to the inherent nature of the individual. I Love making art, I Love making music, these are as natural and necessary for me almost as breathing or talking. To be denied the right to pursue it according to my ability, as well as be properly acknowledged and compensated for it, in an attempt to control, is manipulation directed at my most basic rights! These forms of expression, along with others, effectively comprise my free speech! Defending, preserving, and protecting these rights are critically important, especially in a paradigm where veiled racism, sexism, ageism, nepotism, and deliberate economic control are still blatant realities!!!”
(See my article entitled Lauryn Hill’s Tumblr Letter on the Music Business for the full letter).
wow, way to fucking delegitimize and pathologize the experiences of a Black woman by abusing mental health resources and language to avoid the real shit she brings up.
i look up to her so much. She’s one of my biggest influence with my singing and song writing. It’s such a disgusting thing to see that she’s considered “mentally ill” with the truth she carries.
He’s stupid excited about this motorcycle he got on Wednesday. I can’t wait for motorcycle rides around town.
He’s too damn adorable. xoxo
“It’s cold out, but it’s warm in your arms
And right now, I can’t ask for anything more
but you just keep giving me more.
Someday soon I may not be so lucky.
Sometimes it’s so easy to see
but most times I don’t bother looking
And sometimes it’s ringing in my ears
like bells or something.”
It’s my fault that I feel like that. I’m only responsible of what I feel yet I choose to feel so sad all the time. Sometimes, I even push people away because I feel that I don’t deserve them. Sometimes, I tend to hide because I don’t feel enough. I need to know that I’m lucky to have whatever I have right now in my life. I need to learn how to recognize that because someday they may just disappear.