dovves | jemimah | 1994 | manila | literature & anthropology

Teaching Consent to Small Children ›


A friend and I were out with our kids when another family’s two-year-old came up. She began hugging my friend’s 18-month-old, following her around and smiling at her. My friend’s little girl looked like she wasn’t so sure she liked this, and at that moment the other little girl’s mom came up and got down on her little girl’s level to talk to her.

“Honey, can you listen to me for a moment? I’m glad you’ve found a new friend, but you need to make sure to look at her face to see if she likes it when you hug her. And if she doesn’t like it, you need to give her space. Okay?”

Two years old, and already her mother was teaching her about consent.

My daughter Sally likes to color on herself with markers. I tell her it’s her body, so it’s her choice. Sometimes she writes her name, sometimes she draws flowers or patterns. The other day I heard her talking to her brother, a marker in her hand.

“Bobby, do you mind if I color on your leg?”

Bobby smiled and moved himself closer to his sister. She began drawing a pattern on his leg with a marker while he watched, fascinated. Later, she began coloring on the sole of his foot. After each stoke, he pulled his foot back, laughing. I looked over to see what was causing the commotion, and Sally turned to me.

“He doesn’t mind if I do this,” she explained, “he is only moving his foot because it tickles. He thinks its funny.” And she was right. Already Bobby had extended his foot to her again, smiling as he did so.

What I find really fascinating about these two anecdotes is that they both deal with the consent of children not yet old enough to communicate verbally. In both stories, the older child must read the consent of the younger child through nonverbal cues. And even then, consent is not this ambiguous thing that is difficult to understand.

Teaching consent is ongoing, but it starts when children are very young. It involves both teaching children to pay attention to and respect others’ consent (or lack thereof) and teaching children that they should expect their own bodies and their own space to be respected—even by their parents and other relatives.

And if children of two or four can be expected to read the nonverbal cues and expressions of children not yet old enough to talk in order to assess whether there is consent, what excuse do full grown adults have?

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I think it’s brave to try to be happy.

Vivian, Pushing Daisies  (via bonhivers)

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it’s unfair how you exists this way
ill make way for this one change


Ask the average person if there’s any nomadic herdsmen in their family, and you’ll probably be met with a blank expression. 

For the past 15 years, Dutch photographer Jeroen Toirkens has been traveling the globe capturing nomadic tribes and their disappearing way of life.

Documenting a Nomad’s Dying Way of Life

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i want to spend more time with my mum. 

Healing Herbal Sachet ›


What you’ll need

  • A pouch or material (green or blue are the usual colour for healing)
  • A ribbon of the same colour
  • 6 herbs associated with healing & promoting good health
  • (if you wish you can add a crystal)

Herbs: Allspice, apple, angelica, ash, birch, calendula, caraway, carnation, cedar,…

Title: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 293,116 plays


how i communicate

literally me

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Hop Along & Title Fight were both rad last night in Fresno. (bottom photo is from last year’s Gilman show).



An Indian woman, a Japanese woman, and a Syrian woman, all training to be doctors at Women’s Medical College of Philadelphia, 1880s. (Image courtesy Legacy Center, Drexel University College of Medicine Archives, Philadelphia, PA. Image #p0103) (x)

The Indian woman, Dr. Anandi Gopal Joshi, was the first Indian woman to earn a degree in Western medicine, and also believed to be the first Hindu woman to set foot on American soil.

The Japanese woman, Dr. Kei Okami, was the first Japanese woman to obtain a degree in Western Medicine.

The Syrian woman is Dr. Sabat Islambooly.  Her name is spelled incorrectly on that photograph. 

For those interested, here’s more information on other women of color who attended and graduated from Women’s Medical College of Philadelphia in the past, with a focus on the Japanese-American women they accepted during the US WW2 internment of Japanese-Americans.

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Just because you miss someone, it doesn’t mean you should go back to them. Sometimes you have to just keep missing them until you wake up one morning and realise that you don’t anymore.

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Keith Haring at Gladstone Gallery

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